An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are made of plastic.
.
.
Next.Q
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the elephant is made of plastic.
Hahhaa.never give up.one more..
.
.
.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
.
.
.
.
Why ?
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are in the TV.
Ooops!!! Cool down.
.
.
.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it
cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
Because they are on different channels.
Hohohohoohohoh..hehehe
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the
same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
Cmon think ..
.
.
.
.
.
Because the TV is off.
Kikikikikiki
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Wow!! Traffic Jams..
A wonderful forward on Traffic jams.. where else.. in our great Bangalore! :) I loved it..
Over these last few years of living in Bangalore, I
have slowly grown to
like the jams, which this city provides in
abundance.
These jams do build your patience and character. Is
it a coincidence
that India's most patient cricketers, Dravid and
Kumble, hail from this
city of jams? (Dravid is even nicknamed "Jammy").
Does it tell you
something? Sri Sri Ravishankar…does he get
his
daily dose of spiritual
inspiration while in a jam?? And will I also get a
halo after a few more
years of this "character building"?? There are, I am
sure, thousands of
future Anands stuck in the Adugodis and Anand Rao
circles, who are
plotting their moves against future Kramniks…
those
poor little Kramniks
stand no chance. And if you see a professor-like guy
prancing around the
Palace road jam, you can deduce that a postulate in
Physics has just
been proved.
A few days back, I had a thought - If we can have
reviews of movies,
which occupy only a few hours of our life in a
month, why not reviews of
traffic jams, which takes up significant hours of
our day?? So here is
my review of some of Bangalore's famous and
not-so-famous jams(in no
particular order).
But before that, a general comment - As they say,
the taste of food in
a restaurant is dependent on the ambience ;
similarly, the way I see
jams, cozy inside the office shuttle or public
transport, is different
from the way the owner of the swank new SUV sees it.
(btw, if you are
the owner of the swank new SUV, don't run me down).
*1. The Hosur Road Jam* - Unarguably, the mother of
all jams. We (ex-)
Infoscions are proud of being (once) associated with
a great company. We
are equally proud of contributing in no small extent
to this jam. This
jam gives a great glimpse of the Other India -
colorful music-blaring
interstate buses, garment factory workers, highway
trucks, smoke spewing
lorries and such. Provides ample food for thought
for socialist minds.
(Rating: ***1/2)
*2. The jams around K'mangala/Forum mall* -
Definitely the best jams in
town. PYTs (Pretty young things), fancy cars, and
fancy restaurants;
this has it all. But you can't afford any of those.
Never mind!! Your
sadistic brain can take pleasure in the fact that
the guy in the fancy
car next to you is cruising around for a parking
space, feasting his
eyes on the PYTs , while his family is having dinner
in one of the fancy
restaurants. (Rating: ****1/2)
*3. The KG Road jam* - To be experienced in the
evenings before a long
weekend. Every auto/taxi in town seems to be stuck
while going towards
the City railway station - your hair stands on end,
you start sweating,
the heart beats faster, and you get the rush that a
Michael Schumachaer
gets on his last lap. And just as the auto moves, a
movie show ends and
a few hundred more vehicles pour out… Which
was the
train that hooted
just now?? (Rating: ***1/2)
*4. The Jayanagar jam* - The puzzle-lovers jam;
Jayanagar is maze of
bylanes, one-way streets, no right-turns, no
left-turns, traffic signals
and whatnot. It is an establised fact that Point A
to point B, in
Jayanagar, can be reached in 6436 distinct ways. But
whichever way you
take, you are left with a hollow feeling that
another route had a better
and bigger jam? (Rating: **1/2)
*5. The jams around Marathahalli/Whitefield -* The
IT professional's
dream jam; As she sits in the office shuttle looking
at other office
buses, she can make her career plans. A typical
evening in this jam goes
thus:
/Voice from Company A bus : "Any J2EE developers in
your bus?". Three
guys from Company B bus respond "Yeah" and get down.
By the time, the
bus crosses the Marathahalli bridge, the first guy
is hired as a J2EE
developer. The second guy, who didn't know what J2EE
meant, is //hired
as a project manager and the third guy is rejected
as he realised late
that he has already worked for Company A last year.
/
(Rating: ****)
*6. The Airport Road jam -* Similar in taste and
character like the
Koramangala jam but has socialist twist. This jam
treats the rich
businessman, who will later travel business class on
Jet, the same as a
poor programmer, who had unusually come to office
early in the morning,
3 months back, to buy one of those cheap airline
tickets. (Rating ***)
*7. The BTM 7th Main x 7 Cross jam -* Close to my
home, so close to my
heart. But alas, the spoilsports at BDA finished the
flyover at the
Jayadeva circle and brought an end to this jam. But
for a couple of
years, this jam used to give me pure joy as vehicles
of all types
created a tangle in the small bylanes of BTM layout.
The BDA is now
planning a new flyover at the Udupi Garden junction;
so there is still
hope (Rating ***1/2).
We jam lovers - currently this club consists of only
me - have
petitioned the government to protect and preserve
traffic jams as a
cultural asset of Bangalore. Just so that traffic
jams are not
endangered in the future, we have these suggestions:
1. Build more flyovers - Flyovers do not reduce
jams. They just transfer
it to the next junction. And in the 2 years that it
takes to build them,
you are assured of some joyous jams. I am
drooling...
2. No public buses - If everybody goes by buses,
where will our culture go?
3. Make Tata's 1-Lakh car cheaper by making it tax
free - Imagine every
two wheeler replaced by a car...The prospects are
mouth-watering. * *
Over these last few years of living in Bangalore, I
have slowly grown to
like the jams, which this city provides in
abundance.
These jams do build your patience and character. Is
it a coincidence
that India's most patient cricketers, Dravid and
Kumble, hail from this
city of jams? (Dravid is even nicknamed "Jammy").
Does it tell you
something? Sri Sri Ravishankar…does he get
his
daily dose of spiritual
inspiration while in a jam?? And will I also get a
halo after a few more
years of this "character building"?? There are, I am
sure, thousands of
future Anands stuck in the Adugodis and Anand Rao
circles, who are
plotting their moves against future Kramniks…
those
poor little Kramniks
stand no chance. And if you see a professor-like guy
prancing around the
Palace road jam, you can deduce that a postulate in
Physics has just
been proved.
A few days back, I had a thought - If we can have
reviews of movies,
which occupy only a few hours of our life in a
month, why not reviews of
traffic jams, which takes up significant hours of
our day?? So here is
my review of some of Bangalore's famous and
not-so-famous jams(in no
particular order).
But before that, a general comment - As they say,
the taste of food in
a restaurant is dependent on the ambience ;
similarly, the way I see
jams, cozy inside the office shuttle or public
transport, is different
from the way the owner of the swank new SUV sees it.
(btw, if you are
the owner of the swank new SUV, don't run me down).
*1. The Hosur Road Jam* - Unarguably, the mother of
all jams. We (ex-)
Infoscions are proud of being (once) associated with
a great company. We
are equally proud of contributing in no small extent
to this jam. This
jam gives a great glimpse of the Other India -
colorful music-blaring
interstate buses, garment factory workers, highway
trucks, smoke spewing
lorries and such. Provides ample food for thought
for socialist minds.
(Rating: ***1/2)
*2. The jams around K'mangala/Forum mall* -
Definitely the best jams in
town. PYTs (Pretty young things), fancy cars, and
fancy restaurants;
this has it all. But you can't afford any of those.
Never mind!! Your
sadistic brain can take pleasure in the fact that
the guy in the fancy
car next to you is cruising around for a parking
space, feasting his
eyes on the PYTs , while his family is having dinner
in one of the fancy
restaurants. (Rating: ****1/2)
*3. The KG Road jam* - To be experienced in the
evenings before a long
weekend. Every auto/taxi in town seems to be stuck
while going towards
the City railway station - your hair stands on end,
you start sweating,
the heart beats faster, and you get the rush that a
Michael Schumachaer
gets on his last lap. And just as the auto moves, a
movie show ends and
a few hundred more vehicles pour out… Which
was the
train that hooted
just now?? (Rating: ***1/2)
*4. The Jayanagar jam* - The puzzle-lovers jam;
Jayanagar is maze of
bylanes, one-way streets, no right-turns, no
left-turns, traffic signals
and whatnot. It is an establised fact that Point A
to point B, in
Jayanagar, can be reached in 6436 distinct ways. But
whichever way you
take, you are left with a hollow feeling that
another route had a better
and bigger jam? (Rating: **1/2)
*5. The jams around Marathahalli/Whitefield -* The
IT professional's
dream jam; As she sits in the office shuttle looking
at other office
buses, she can make her career plans. A typical
evening in this jam goes
thus:
/Voice from Company A bus : "Any J2EE developers in
your bus?". Three
guys from Company B bus respond "Yeah" and get down.
By the time, the
bus crosses the Marathahalli bridge, the first guy
is hired as a J2EE
developer. The second guy, who didn't know what J2EE
meant, is //hired
as a project manager and the third guy is rejected
as he realised late
that he has already worked for Company A last year.
/
(Rating: ****)
*6. The Airport Road jam -* Similar in taste and
character like the
Koramangala jam but has socialist twist. This jam
treats the rich
businessman, who will later travel business class on
Jet, the same as a
poor programmer, who had unusually come to office
early in the morning,
3 months back, to buy one of those cheap airline
tickets. (Rating ***)
*7. The BTM 7th Main x 7 Cross jam -* Close to my
home, so close to my
heart. But alas, the spoilsports at BDA finished the
flyover at the
Jayadeva circle and brought an end to this jam. But
for a couple of
years, this jam used to give me pure joy as vehicles
of all types
created a tangle in the small bylanes of BTM layout.
The BDA is now
planning a new flyover at the Udupi Garden junction;
so there is still
hope (Rating ***1/2).
We jam lovers - currently this club consists of only
me - have
petitioned the government to protect and preserve
traffic jams as a
cultural asset of Bangalore. Just so that traffic
jams are not
endangered in the future, we have these suggestions:
1. Build more flyovers - Flyovers do not reduce
jams. They just transfer
it to the next junction. And in the 2 years that it
takes to build them,
you are assured of some joyous jams. I am
drooling...
2. No public buses - If everybody goes by buses,
where will our culture go?
3. Make Tata's 1-Lakh car cheaper by making it tax
free - Imagine every
two wheeler replaced by a car...The prospects are
mouth-watering. * *
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Troublesome!
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively
Mischievous . They are always getting into trouble and
Their parents know all about it. If any mischief
Occurs in their town, the two boys are probably
Involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in
Town had been successful in disciplining children, so
She asked if he would speak with her boys.
The
Preacher agreed, but he asked to see them
Individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the
Morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the
Afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming
Voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him
Sternly,
" Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth
Dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there
Wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even
Sterner tone, " Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher
Raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the
Boy's' face and bellowed,
" Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran
Directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the
Door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he
Asked, " what happened?"
The younger brother,
gasping
For breath, replied,
" We are in BIG trouble this time. "
GOD is missing, and they think we did it! ......... !
Mischievous . They are always getting into trouble and
Their parents know all about it. If any mischief
Occurs in their town, the two boys are probably
Involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in
Town had been successful in disciplining children, so
She asked if he would speak with her boys.
The
Preacher agreed, but he asked to see them
Individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the
Morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the
Afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming
Voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him
Sternly,
" Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth
Dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there
Wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even
Sterner tone, " Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher
Raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the
Boy's' face and bellowed,
" Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran
Directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the
Door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he
Asked, " what happened?"
The younger brother,
gasping
For breath, replied,
" We are in BIG trouble this time. "
GOD is missing, and they think we did it! ......... !
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)